An open rant about Bravo

This was inspired by a marathon viewing of the 3rd season of Shear Genius. I’m certain that others out there share my plight.

Okay, we get it. Before Project Runway, no one cared about you. Your lifeblood is the “high brow” reality competition clones of Runway. We’ve had Project Runway: Cooking, Project Runway: Interior Design, Project Runway: Dancing, Project Runway: Models, Project Runway: Hair, and even Project Runway: Project Runway Replacement. Basically, if it’s listed on Stuff White People Like, chances are Bravo has also had a competitive reality TV show based around it.

In their attempts to exact the successful format, they’ve clearly found the main draw to the show. We love accents that no one can understand! “Shake eht”. The current host of Shear Genius sounds like she came from the kingdom of lolcat. Launch my Line was led by the design duo Dsquared who sound much as how one would imagine aliens attempting to learn english would. That is aliens from outer space, mind you. Don’t go thinking this entire post is xenophobic.

Tune in at 10!

Point is, I, you, them, we, do not want to be struggling to understand what is going on simply because the person hired to explain the rules of the show has an oh-so-2011-lebanese-burkina fasoian accent. Give the job to one the endless Real Housewives spawn. I’m sure that Jill Zarin would gobble up the chance at one more precious moment of extra airtime.

Summer 2010: What You Need To Watch

Once upon a time, the summer television season was filled with nothing more than reruns of crime dramas from the previous fall, and when it got hot, there was simply nothing to watch at all.

No longer is that the case. Particularly within the last few years, reality TV has taken over the void reruns once filled. Here are some shows both old and new alike to look out for this summer now that Idol has run its course.

So You Think You Can Dance

Also known as the Idol clone where talent is required, this summer staple returns with a new format, with a slimmed down top 10, paired with all-star dancers from the last six seasons, instead of the traditional top 20. Though two seasons a year is a bit of a stretch, SYTYCD’s summer season is never to be missed. Starts tonight on FOX.

Bethenny Getting Married?

Also this summer, continue to feed your endless Real Housewives addiction with Bethenny Getting Married? Pushed up from November to June 10 to cash in the on the drama of the current season of Real Housewives of New York, the show will follow the pregnant Martha’s Apprentice alumni as she prepares for her wedding to the slightly creepy Jason Hoppy. Rumor has it jealousy of this spinoff is what feuled the spat between Bethenny and Jill Zarin during the current season of Real Housewives of New York.

Big Brother

The “house like no other” opens its doors once again starting July 8 on CBS. Getting your Orwellian fix shouldn’t be a problem, as the show is once again airing three nights a week all summer (Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday this go round) along with the almost 24/7 live feed online, and Big Brother After Dark on Showtime Too. Definitely worth a spot as the guilty pleasure on your DVR.

The TLC Lineup

More divas and emotions than you could ever want, TLC returns this summer with more of the same. Toddlers and Tiaras begins its 4^th season in June, and like it or not, Kate Gosselin returns to our screens for Kate Plus 8.  I’m personally never followed the Gosselin saga, but I know many who follow the gaggle religiously. Is Kate on her on worth a watch? Absolutely. Can she carry the series on her own? Doubtful.

The OCD Project

Finally, in a slightly unexpected choice, 3 Ball Productions (Beauty & The Geek, For Love or Money) is collaborating with VH1 to bring you “The OCD Project”, beginning tonight at 10.  Expect a show in the vein of Hoarders meets Sex Rehab. Is VH1 purposefully beginning to build a lineup based on the treatment of mental disorders? And furthermore, how bizarre is that concept?

Even if somehow none of these shows appeal to you, there’s plenty of more fish in the sea. Not only do you have various other shows dotting the summer reality landscape, reruns of Top Model and other shows various shows are a constant. And, if still there is nothing on TV, there’s always If I Can Dream, broadcast on Hulu and once again, with live feed.